Oh Felicity. Watching your show makes me want to go back to college. Then again, everything makes me want to go back to college, like my premature gray hairs, adult acne, responsibilities, living at my parent's house, and alcohol related regret.
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| All stills in this post © Lionsgate Home Entertainment |
Titular character, Felicity, is whip smart and has a head of glorious brown curls. She loves sweaters and tank tops and Sarah McLaughlin.
But we need more of a hook here. Something CRAZY...
Let's see: "Young woman follows her high school crush across the country so she can go to college with him."
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| bingo bango |
Nice JJ Abrams.
wait, what?
A fun factoid for you: Apparently JJ is a childhood friend of
Greg Grunberg (aka Sean Blumberg). Grunberg was supposed to have a part in JJ's Star Trek, but had some kind of scheduling conflict.
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| Grunberg Blumberg Shlumberg |
You know who
was in Star Trek?
Amanda Foreman (aka Meghan Rotundi).
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| Who somehow ends up being the most stable person on the show. love. her. |
She was also in a slew of other JJ joints, including Super 8, Alias, What About Brian.
Get outta my face, date raper.
Anyway. Felicity's New York world is bathed in earth tones, surely to compliment her autumnal hair and skin. Everyone has that kind-of laid back, east coast vibe. It's all very collegiate. She works in a trendy coffee shop and loves ART.
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| and backless dresses |
Ooo yeah. I'm feeling bohemian. I've written a poem for you:
New wallpaper
New shoe leather
A new way home
I don't remember
Ok, sorry about that. The
theme song for seasons 3 and 4 has burrowed itself in my brain like some kind of parasitic earwig. New shoe leather? What the hell does that mean. All I could think of while watching the intro was buying a pair of
Frye oxfords and create a new version of me. Good job JJ. Your subliminal advertising WORKED.
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| I only pulled my pants on halfway to take this photo. |
Okay, wait, back up. I skipped over some stuff here. Namely, the pixie cut that changed the world. of dramatic television. for young adults. on the WB.
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| a neeeew version of you. |
I guess they had to write a contractual clause after the infamous Felicity pixie debacle stating that no WB actor could drastically change their hair style. Sadly, I found myself waiting and frothing at the mouth as her hair grew out for the next 3 seasons.
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| I know, my hypocrisy is revolting. |
But please. Couldn't they have given her cuter in-between haircuts?
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| What was with the mullet? |
Then there's Ben. Ben is the plot point that drives the show.
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| God this man is hideous. |
You can always tell when Ben likes a girl cause he uses his secret weapon: Bashful Speedman Smile.
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| nope, not that one |
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| THAT ONE. |
Bashful Speedman Smile is a mythical creature that is notoriously hard to capture via freeze frame.
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| Much like the mythical Scott Speedman Rabbit Animorph. |
Pretty early on, I found myself thinking Keri Russell wasn't right for Scott Speedman. Like I don't know what he'd see in her. She seems too neurotic and anal for him. He needs a surfer chick or some kind of hippy dippy. Or a harem. Or maybe a half Iranian sometimes blogger with a boy haircut and a penchant for stripes.
I'll throw my husband in for you Speedman.
Moving on! Here are more Felicity favorites for you!
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| Fun Gay Boss. Yeah! |
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| Black best friend! |
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| Diversity! Hell yeah! |
... actually
Harold was only in Felicity for a minute in one episode. Hey Felicity, where are my Asians at? You're pre-med, right?
also, there's "Not Ben":
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| right. shit. NOEL. I don't know why I can't remember your name. |
Jennifer Garner was on the show for a bit as Noel's ex-girlfriend.
All I can think of is the giant lipped children they would have together.
Some other plot points: date rape (see "Brian" up top), academic cheating, addiction, indecision, spying on someone who's out with someone else who isn't their significant other thus potentially making that someone a big
fat ADULTERER.
Key up some kind of ridiculous piano melody for me here...
Seriously, why does everyone have to LIE to each other. About EVERYTHING. You know what's good for healthy relationships? Communication. You know what's not good for dramatic television? Healthy relationships. I remember watching
All My Children with my mom as a teen, marveling at how everyone was such a mess. And Barb says to me, "(sigh) I don't know Shay. They just can't keep anyone happy for too long." And that friends, is DRAMA.
Well, the drama must be in the water at UNY, cause there is also a running theme of pregnancies or pregnancy scares that all coincide with an incident of infidelity.
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| babied! |
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| babied! |
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| psych! |
But, I'm sorry. I call bullshit on this, Felicity. If conception occurs while you're legitimately being unfaithful, the human body has a way of shutting it down.
I finally made it to the 4th season of Felicity a few days ago. At this point, I've watched so many episodes in such a short period time that
my space time continuum has blurred. (spoiler alert) I reach what I think is the last episode... everyone is saying goodbye to each other. Felicity and Ben reunite in Palo Alto. He follows HER to college this time and the show ends right where it started. And I'm, like, crying. What a perfect ending. Then I go back to the Netflix menu and I see their are like FIVE more episodes. What the hell Felicity. I wasted my "goodbye new television friends" tears on you. Then for the ACTUAL last episodes, you totally jump the shark. Time travel? What do you think this is JJ? Star Trek?
So pardon me while I go back in time and re-do all my past maybe mistakes, just to make sure I made the right decisions in life. Naturally, I'm starting with the college years. brb.
